365 Days of Imperfection 2010: Day 3: Voices Rough

I've been wanting to draw this as a cartoon or comic for over a year. Just wait for the punchline on this one. First, I realize of I'm not going to ink these in any way, I'll need to darken the lines more until I have my scanner and can make adjustments that way. Until then, it would also be great if I knew how to make the images blow up into a new window or tab as Cej has done for Day 1.

No, this is not a masturbation cartoon, but what I am having trouble with is the position of the girlfriend in the midground or is it background behind and semi-over the guy. Hence two rough images here. I'm not sure of the top of the page gives it away or if I'll need to include a certain face to make it more clear. I'll probably try two versions of the final cartoon to see what my audience here thinks is best.

voices rough 1

In this second image I roughed the guy and roughed his girlfriend in starting with her left hand on his (this is not family friendly)  erect cock (now we'll get more hits on the blog here) and then spread out from there. Uh...so to speak. I'm still not happy even after I had to erase the whole crotch area and re-sketch it.

I'm not sure where to put her other hand. It could go several places, like maybe her arm is resting on her knee and her hand is hanging.

Other problems are that her head is too small. Actually, her whole body is too small in relation to him. I need to increase her body size as she looks very short compared to the laying (lying?) giant. Since she's somewhat leaning over his body she should be mostly the same size as him. I don't know if I need to or can attempt to slightly foreshorten her lower half to indicate these slightly varying depths.

What might not be apparent, and Cej will show me how to do this, if you can enlarge the image, is what I'm a bit happy with and that's some of the minor shading or line thickness on her right hand side (our left). Because my muse has a small frame and is rather slender, I was happy that I sort of captured her subtle waist and tiny (very tiny and cute) pooch curves. Well, maybe I didn't do a good job on the pooch, but I like the waist. Chest and boobs need work though. And there are no hips. There must be hips! How could I miss those!?

I considered making her completely naked but Mark! might get too excited if he saw labia or even a single pube. I'm pretty sure it was such drawings of mine that Mark! chose me to join the ArmzRace. Then again, for all I know he cornered everyone in the MoCCA DIY class  and asked them to join.

voices rough 2

There's gonna be a great punchline in the end and I'm hoping people get it.

Cej, Mark!, if this is not OK, I will put this stuff on another blog.

Ideas, folks? Less of my commentary? More? Is it just right? Less corn; get straight to the point? Talk more about cocks and labia?

PS: I'm obviously working under Hawaii time today, so it's still day 3.