Hospital is freezing. They do an ultrasound on one leg (they were suppose to do both, but then they were suppose to do the ultrasound yesterday) to see if their are blood clots. Left waiting in a wheelchair in a hallway. Four times attempt to get the attention of a secretary. Finally acknowledges with "WHAT?!" Apologize for disturbing her and ask if someone is coming. When someone finally shows even she is appalled at how long it took. How do people survive without family? Relatives come everyday to check up, cheer up, and pick things up. The relay messages to friends, school, and work. Could not do this solo. Don't know what would happen without them. Don't want to know.
Wake from bizarre nightmare. Happening a lot. Always about not quite being human and desire to escape. Don't need Freud to understand, yet wake soaked in sweat. Change gowns, take another shuffling walk down the hall and back again. This time is different only due to the fire drill. Dawn ushers in screams from immobile neighbor. His pain is bad enough, but its couple with his constant spilling of his bedpan. Somehow feel lucky.