My friend Cory is a real jerk. That’s because he refuses to tell me when his birthday is. That and he insist on shouting out the punch line when someone is telling a joke. I’ve narrowed his B-day down to March. Ok, I actually once found out when it was, but I’m too big a jerk to care enough to remember. For spite I decided to throw him a surprise party. This is only the second time I’ve done such a thing. The first time was for an ex (well, not at the time), which killed the relationship because her “best friends” thought I was trying to show them up—no, you idiots, I just thought it might be a good idea to have a party for her with her friends, instead of imitating you gals and throwing myself a party and simply invited the guest of honor to hang out too. Now that I’m an expert on such things I can say that whenever you throw a party and give the directive “let me know if you can make it” you are guaranteeing that no one will RSVP (that’s French by the way). That’s the joy of Evite as all you have to do it click yes, no, or maybe. Apparently the reply key is too tricky. Yes, yes, Sally, I know you are the exception, I’m just stating the rule. I love how I can take a post about a friend’s birthday and turn it into a self-absorbed rant.