1: THE BEST YEARS OF YOUR LIFE
Okay, that wasn’t the title, but I need to call it something, so until you think of a better name, it’ll be “The Best Years of Your Life.”
General Impressions I was certainly psyched to get it in the mail, especially since I missed it several times with being in Atlanta.
Keep in mind that when I say “Mark”, I mean the Mark-character.
What worked 1) The interplay of text and picture made a nice contrast. I think that this technique helps to explore the real possibilities of the medium.
2) The symmetry between the first and last panel sets up a nice circularity, like, “we’re on the treadmill again—we can’t get off!”
3) Some of the asides were cute (the little comments inside the panels), especially the way things were crossed out in the last panel
4) I would have thought that the lack of gutters would have been a problem, but the single line between panels seems to have worked okay.
What didn’t work 1) As you expressed in your NFTB, I didn’t think that the differing fonts was all that effective, although I could understand what you were trying to accomplish, I think it was probably more distracting, because I was trying to “read into” the font style. A consistent font probably might have worked better, but that doesn’t mean that you should never try this approach, I just think that you need a greater set of fonts.
Questions/Suggestion 1) Why did you decide to make the Mark character into a stick figure, but have other characters have more “weight?”
2) Why doesn’t the girlfriend have a head? It’s kinda funny, but it also made me think that, she may have been using you for your mind, but maybe you were using her for her body. That’s not a criticism.
3) A title or some other introductory words or image might have helped, and it might even have added to the ironic effect that you were trying to achieve (if you chose your words wisely).